There are so many streams of thought racing lazily through my mind tonight. Half asleep as I sit here listening to music and contemplating life.
Will we be able to dig ourselves out of the debt accumulated finishing school? Will things truly quiet down and become easier once the wedding occurs? Will I take the initiative to take extra money to pay down things? Do I need to take on a part-time job temporarily to break even?
What is causing the headaches to come and go so often? Why am I tired all the time? Is anxiety causing me to feel crummy? Is it all related to hormones? Or am I so down that I'm causing the headaches as an excuse to be alone?
Am I truly ready to be married? Do I really want to wake up next to him forever?
Why am I feeling so insignificant, so plain, so mundane through all of this? Why do I want to blend into the pale stucco of life?
currently reading: - currently listening: Dave Matthews Band - Rhyme & Reason