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Tears
2000-03-22 @ 09:36:16
The tears came again the other day. Scared the hell out of me. They haven't come in such a long time -- at least not since the surgery. The feeling first hit me during class on Monday. I actually had to hide my face and try my best to suck it in. Later that night, at the meeting, it hit again. I was able to suck it in then too, but the feeling was so strong that I had to tell him that I couldn't come over that night -- I had things to do before morning. He was so disappointed, but it worked. As soon as we parted they began to flow. The tears came really hard this time. They lasted a good 2 hours too. I'm really scared now. It wasn't a crash, it's worse. The random tears. My sleep schedule and eating habits and vitamins and exercise and all that other garbage I do to help keep myself in check still aren't working as well as the medication. I don't want that silly medication. It's been two years (well a little past two years) since I took my last pill. What a joyous day that was for me. Such accomplishments. I even made it through last summer/fall without it. So why now? Why the little dark cloud in such a sunny sky?
