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Happiness
2000-05-02 @ 10:59:54
So my life has become wonderful and awful since I last wrote. I have never been happier, too bad I still am not happy. (if that makes any sense whatsoever) He makes me feel wonderful whenever we are together and even most of the time when we are apart. Last night I think he even told me that he loved me, though I can't be sure. I feel guilty for not paying total attention, but it sure sounded like it. Someday soon I'll ask him about it. . . On the other hand she just drives me crazy. Actually, drives everyone crazy. She's so stubborn and gotten to be so incredibly crabby all the time. I don't want to be around her at all any more. I feel like I have totally lost my best friend. Yet it doesn't hurt at all. I feel no guilt, no remorse, nothing. This time it isn't my fault. I have stopped putting myself into positions where I will be around her, and I think she's finally catching on that there are a few people that don't like who she has become. I do feel bad because he has gotten caught in the middle. He originally told me that he wasn't taking sides. . . but last night his own opinion came out as we were talking. It's too bad that he clammed up as soon as he realized that he was getting involved, I'd like to know his opinion. His opinion really does matter a lot to me right now.
