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Single Life
2001-09-16 @ 11:29 p.m.
So I just remembered that I own this little diary. It has been well over a year since I have written and there is no way I will catch up on my life in one entry. So I will just say what's been going on this week.
The single life has been torture. Yes, he is still in my life but on a different level. Our relationship ended on a good note and we have remained friends ever since.
I still love him. I still wish that I was in his arms. But I realize that my life must take a new turn.
I had forgotten how to be single. Other males around me have taken on a new meaning. I see their physical qualities much more than their emotional and personalities. The way a shirt fits on a man's chest has become very apparent to me. A smile from a tall dark stranger will make my day. I don't remember ever noticing these things before I was in a relationship. . . but now it's all I can think about.
My physical features have also become very apparent. The make-up on my face, the curve of my nails, the size of my waist, the curve of the hips -- it all seems so much more important now. I find myself dressing a little differently these days. I wonder if it's just growing up or if I am doing a version of a mating dance.
Either way, it's a new experience. One that I must understand and become accustomed to.
