* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
Lost
2001-10-09 @ 10:23 p.m.
Things have become crazy as of late. I swear that my life has been turned completely upside down. I have become poor. I have become more depressed. I have become the girl I never wanted to be around. I am losing friends. I am not making new friends. I am a work-a-holic. I am tired. I am lost.
I can't believe how lonely and depressed I have become over these last few days. She has re-entered my life as a complete bitch. She is judging me in front of others and making false accusations about me. Apparently, I am still out to ruin her life in any way I can. Last Thursday she completely blew up while over at my home. Since then, things have gone downhill. I have never been hurt so badly by words before. Never. He is also still in my life and always will be I am truly realizing. My feelings are like a ping-pong ball. One day I am ok with being friends, then next all I want is to be back in his arms. Actually, most of the time I am ok with the friends thing. It's just evenings like last Friday when things feel too perfect that I wish we were still together. I found out tonight that things with his new companion aren't working out. . . even though I truly believe that they are sleeping together. Which just baffels me as it throws out all the morals I thought he had. I miss him so much. Sure I have tried to get him out of my thoughts by finding other men. But it doesn't work. Even others that seem like they would be perfect for me, I always find something inherently wrong with them. The others tell me it will take time, more than the 8 months I have given it. Is there something wrong to feeling incomplete without someone at your side? I feel lost without him.
