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Caffiene and Canada
05 December 2002 @ 12:39 a.m.
The current mood of redness at www.imood.com

I drown myself in work. That way I have no time for feelings or original thought.

I asked the boss for many many hours over Winter Break so that I may come back home early and earn a decent amount of money. He said yes. This is good. Very good. I now have filled the week and a half that I was scheduled to do, well, nothing. Plus, this fills my time so I don't spend it all with him. While it would be fantastic to spend the entire week together, I don't think that it would be my best decision right now. I'm in one of my avoidance phases. So I am avoiding spending my holiday with the man who forces me to think and feel.

Tonight I have caffienated myself up to work on homework that I have procrastinated. This term I have been on task for the most part, but these two assignments I have honestly put off for over three weeks. So I decided that I would stay up tonight and just get them done. Completely. Though I have a headache so who knows if it will actually happen. We'll see.

Finally talked to Canada tonight. She's just as messed up as I am right now, and well, I find it comforting in a way. I miss her. More than is healthy really. I'm realizing more and more each day that when I find true friends, they are never meant to live near me for long. I am destined to live my life as a series of long-distance relationships.

Alas, I'm beginning to think again. Which means it is time to get back to my papers.

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