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Long Distance
06 January 2003 @ 9:30 p.m.
The house feels empty and cold tonight.
I've been contemplating friendships today - how I deal, create, and detroy them. How much I need the precious few I chose to keep. How I miss Canada and Wilbur more than I really should. And how I don't know what I would do if J and I ever drifted apart.
I can deal with being single. Honestly. I have for a while now and I'm a big girl. I can handle it. But the loss of my support group this past July almost killed me. The fact that I have no one close where I live scares the shit outta me. Last term was hard, will this one be worse? Will the connection made with Chewba the other night carry through? Is it worth it?
Part of me says suck it up and just get through the year then figure a way to move in with one of the 4-5 people you can honestly trust with everything. But where do I go? Are the twin cities still my best bet?
What happens if I fuck up these relationships like those of the past?
And why can't everyone just move to one place so we can be together? We all are so freakin' close yet live so far. If just TWO of us could live within 500 miles of each other. . .
The one good thing out of it all: my long distance plan rules.
currently reading: Blood of the Fold - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: Go Soundtrack
