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Cherishing Today
10 January 2003 @ 9:54 p.m.
Mixture of emotions. . . I feel one thing internally, another externally. Or is it?
First off, I hear on the news this morning that North Korea did pull out of the Nonproliferation Treaty. My mind was immeadiatly pulled back to my days of policy debate in high school with China as out topic - my hours and hours of research to the consequences if one of the nations refused to sign or pull out. "Life or death situation" as quoted by South Korean officials. And it is. I don't fear that a war will ensue and I don't doubt that it will happen within the next year. I hope for the world leaders. I hope they are capable of thinking logically and carefully. I hope my sancuary isn't marred.
While I hear that on the radio, I look out the window to the winter wonderland I call home. Early this morning there were no car tracks down the road, no footsteps in the fresh snow. I could hear the neighbor shoveling out his car and the wind sweeping down the street. It has been impossible to look across the canal all day - too much wind and snow. The sounds are sweet to me. I live for the freshness and purity of winter. The feeling of a snowflake as it rests on my nose.
Such conflicting feelings. But they are exterior in a way.
I look to the inside of me and I hide the darkness - the emptiness. I yearn for the emptiness of filling my life with work, school, and shallow social interactions.
The glow of the lights down on the highway make the snow look pinkish orange. My street is dark and quiet. I sit in the drafty house alone. Across the country, across the sea, world leaders fear for their citizens and nationals.
This is today. Cherish it.
currently reading: Blood of the Fold - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: Soul Aylum - Let Your Dim Light Shine
