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Crankiness
19 January 2003 @ 1:21 p.m.
I feel myself sliding, sliding back into that place of confusion and darkness. I am reaching back to the fulfillment of the nothingness - but unable to get there. Motivation for anything and everything is dissipating. Confusion settling in on physical aspects as well as percieved.
Still have just under 300 pages to be read. The pile of books sits here staring at me. Yet I continue to stare at the screen.
Disbelief with my body and its decision to create a new cycle randomly. I am like a clock - I can time moods, headaches, etc to the hour. The clock skipped ahead 10 days. No warning. Nothing.
I feel physically ill and mentally inept. Even put a sign on my door that says I'm crabby so enter at your own risk. Even bit off my father's head during his normal weekend phone call.
I hope he didn't sense my sliding back again. I couldn't handle him driving hundreds of miles to come up and get me back in line.
Ugh. I feel myself getting crankier. Today will not be a productive one.
currently reading: Blood of the Fold - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: My entire MP3 list on random (1800+songs - all genres)
