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Cold & Empty
10 February 2003 @ 12:02 a.m.
Tonight I dread to sleep alone.
During the day I'm fine. I put on the appropriate masks for the daily tasks, showing off for the general other. Putting on the shoes of the young woman everyone knows and loves as Red.
But once the sun goes down and the shoes kicked off, the little red girl appears. She's simple, caring, comfortable, yet lonely. The bed is cold and uninviting.
So here I sit, alone in the dark room at my desk. Laid down for bed over an hour ago - hoping sleep would help fight off the cold. Only to wake up in a mild state of panic and an odd feeling of sheer emptiness.
Four days from now my bed will be filled again, though only temporarily. Is it worth it? Can I convince myself that we aren't meant for each other? I doubt I can because he will fill the emptiness - if only for one day.
currenlty reading: Temple of the Winds - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: -
