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C*A*R*N*I*V*A*L - Tears
13 February 2003 @ 1:13 p.m.
I hate this stupid disease I have. Here it is carnival time, we're getting ready to go to the theatre to do our "stage review", and here I am with a sinking feeling and all I want to do is cry.
The Fraternity is doing so well with all of our stuff, I should have feelings of pride and accomplishment. Instead I feel empty and sad.
I honestly can't take this anymore.
Stupid tears fall no matter what my actual mood is. I constantly look awful, even if I work hard to pull myself together.
But then, no one has said anything to me. At all. I realize they are all afraid of me, though I don't know why, but still - they call me their friend. Don't friends notice when someone can't do anything any more?
Now I must pull myself together for the skit. We have to place in the top 4. We have to. We must. Carnival is all I can think about. Time to put Red aside and the group first.
If only everyone else felt this way.
currently reading: Temple of the Winds - Terry Goodkind
currenlty listening: My entire MP3 list on random
