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Happy Valentine's Day, Red
15 February 2003 @ 2:43 a.m.
He's asleep in my bed. I sit here listening to him breathe, snore, sleep. This is me getting ready to drift off to my dreams. Dreams where everything is perfect and my feelings of loneliness, sadness, and sheer hatred never existed.
It's been a wonderful day despite my tears. They have continually fallen and I have done my best to hide them. Again, falling for no reason. Falling to blur out what good things I do have. Falling to change my sight.
The fundraiser tonight was beautiful. Everything went exceedingly well. People were giving the credit to me. I beamed. Even though I admitted I had little to do with it, they credit my leadership and guidance. I am willing to accept that because I needed that bit of an ego boost. It's about time that someone says thank you.
J and I walked home hand in hand from the fundraiser. Talking, giggling, being together. It honestly took all my willpower not to cry. Same with this afternoon, we laid on the couch watching a romantic movie.
Happy Valentine's Day, Red.
And now I came upstairs and found him asleep. All peaceful-like in my bed. Curled up inside my comfy flannel. Me sitting here listening as I type. My dreams running through my head.
If only we were still together, still able to hold each other and proclaim our love - not just be close friends. If only I had a ring on my finger the way all my girlfriends around me do.
If only I could actually celebrate Valentine's Day properly.
currently reading: Temple of the Winds - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: J's breathing
