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Unfulfilled
04 March 2003 @ 9:48 a.m.
Just finished sending the boys off to school. He kisses me on the forehead as he heads out to work. I stand up, clear away the last of the breakfast dishes notice the little blossoms on the small plants in the windowsill. I smile and do a round through the house for dishes, finding only a pair of glasses in the family room. Quickly finish wiping down the kitchen as I head into my little sanctuary on the second floor - the light green walls complement the plants perfectly. Bookcases full of novels, pictures, and videos. I turn on the television as I begin my morning walk on my treadmill. I think to myself that I love the feeling of contentment when I know the kids are safe at school with their friends, he's on his way to the office for another eventful day, the house is picked up, and I have time for me. It's perfect...
THAT is what I woke up from this morning. Woke up to my little twin bed with disheveled blankets, silence, and alone. It was like all of my dreams of what my house would look like combined together with all my dreams of the perfect husband. . . only this time there were two children as well. Two boys - I would guess about seven and nine or so.
But this house is empty and silent. Only noise was the early morning telemarketer "You've been pre-approved Ms. Red!".
I want that dream. I do hope that it is just ten years into the future. Because that would be perfect.
Until then, I put on my soft, indie music and get ready to the sounds of Rufus Wainright, The Innocence Mission, Mazzy Star, Belly, and Jesus and Mary Chain. Their sweet guitar riffs and romantic lyrics will have to get me through the morning.
currently reading: Soul of the Fire - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: Soft Indie mix
