* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
So Unsexy
17 March 2003 @ 8:42 a.m.
Alanis Morissette's voice has been lilting through my ears for the past few days. Rotating between the albums I own of hers, whether the studio stuff or her Lilith Fair digs.
One song in particular has stuck in my mind. It's off her newest album, Under Rug Swept called "So Unsexy". The lyrics have been speaking to me so much these past few days:
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
People ditching me again at the bar totally devastated me. I did not leave the sancuary of my bedroom yesterday except to walk to the basement to do laundry. There was even a St. Patrick's Day brunch here at the house - Lucky Charms and Guinness at noon. But I did not participate. I hid.
I feel as though my brain has turned to Cream of Wheat - mush that just rolls around. This morning I feel emotionless. Just blank. All my mental energy was exhausted Saturday night and yesterday. All I can think is that I only have one and a half months remaining here. Then off to camp - where I will be forced to survive publicly and fall apart privatly.
Welcome to the unsexy inner workings of the red girl.
currently reading: -
currently listening: NPR Morning Edition
