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Doldrums
03 April 2003 @ 1:51 a.m.
After a long, hard, busy day I would expect me to be tired and fairly content. If I've been productive I'm usually in a decent mood. Tonight, though, I am not.
I'm feeling a whole lot of nothing.
The bedroom is clean. A faint smell of vanilla lingers in the air. No music plays as I listen to the thoughts screaming through my head. The street outside is dark and quiet - just like the rest of the house. I'm hungry, though. Yet eating is not the best thing to do right now.
Nothing sounds good at the moment. I am unable to choose a style of music for the night. No computer game holds my attention. My book isn't doing it for me. Even a round of "she-bop" sounds less than appetizing.
I took a mega nap this afternoon. It was filled with odd dreams and overheated sweats. The dreams were about people instructing me to do things - me and a series of supervisors I believe. Totally nondescript. But they fed the stomach ache perfectly. Leave it to my subconscious and digestive system to gang up on me.
I feel as though I sleep too much, but it's the only thing that sounds like a decent idea anymore. I have a feeling I won't make it to class tomorrow. Honestly, I don't care.
Welcome to the Spring duldroms. Depression takes too much effort during April and early May. Same with happiness or any other sort of motivation. I'd rather sleep it off.
currently reading: Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: -
