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Absolut Burn Out
05 April 2003 @ 12:47 p.m.
It's time for me to embrace the domestic goddess inside me yet again. Time to pull out the mop and bucket, roll up my pants, and glide through the mess waving my little wand. Time to put the partier, studier and worker hats away and don the doo-rag of the maid.
Cleaning floors recharges my batteries. I ran them dead last night.
I worked my little ass off for the theatre yesterday. Between putting in my regular shift with the coffee shop and then working the show overtime last night, my feet hurt and my hands smell of coffee. Good coffee, though. Pulled out the new blend for the show - great feedback on it. Everyone needs to run out and drink a good, bold Sumatra blend. Anyway, I wound up working three hours past the shift I was there for - three hours dealing with tying out with the performers and setting up for the events which happened this morning. The tech guys, myself, and some of the ushers decided the bar was a good choice once everything was set.
Left the theatre around midnight, arrived at the bar within minutes. Labatt's in hand, pizza ordered. The waitress was less than desirable - it was "officially her birthday" now. She had just turned 22. Big fucking deal. Waitresses should not be crabby and hang over a table of overworked theatre staff. Bar was good. I hadn't hung out with work kids in a while. I think I needed that.
Got back to the house around 1:20 - place is full of all the kids just leaving. They'd had a movie night over. DVD cases and empty bottles of Boones littered my living room. They all looked like zombies - all except for Ari, she still seemed put together. Apparently, they were all expecting me home around 10 to join them. Yeah right. Get off work on time? My ass.
As I helped escort them out, noticed one of the male kids kiss Ari goodbye. Apparently I missed something. But it left me with this lump in the bottom of my stomach - she and I had been doing all this singleness bonding and her turnaround time is less than a week while here I am on two years.
Changed back into street clothes, pulled on my boots, and set out for a walk. A walk in the snow at 1:30 am. I needed to walk off the beer and the lump in my tummy. But where did I end up? T's place. His house had a keg and there were tons of people over. Another beer in hand, I find out he and his woman are at each other's throats again. Again.
The tension in that frat house was so thick I thought my glasses were dirty.
I have no idea why or how I stayed over there as long as I did. T wanted me to spend the night so he had someone to talk to about the woman issues. I didn't. I wound up leaving as soon as I showed one of their pledges how to do a multiple shot correctly. He had a 1.75 of Absolut with just a little bit left in the bottom. I didn't have a 1.75 in my collection, so I asked if I could keep the bottle if I did all the rest of it as a single shot. Silly kid's eyes lit up, put the bottle in front of me. T pulled the shot-topper off for me (he's such a sweetie when he wants to be), I had the kid bring me a glass of water to chase it with, and I proceeded to back about three shots of vodka all at once. Nothing major for me, the kid was thoroughly impressed and went around telling everyone there.
I got the bottle though. Sitting on the little shelf with the others. So easy.
Came back home sometime before 4am, not really sure when, laid down in bed and cried. The house dark and quiet, outside a fierce wind whipping through the trees causing my windows to whistle, soft sounds of Ani trying to soothe me to sleep, yet I was curled up in bed bawling my eyes out.
With all of the excitement, I was still unfulfilled. I don't have any idea what it would take to make me happy anymore. No matter what I do, I still wind up alone in bed crying.
So now I am off to let out any frustrations with my mop and dust rag. Fun for all, right?
currently reading: Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: 90s Indie Station of Netscape Radio
