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Sluggish
08 April 2003 @ 10:30 a.m.
The sky is blue, sun is shining, temps above freezing finally, a beautiful day - yet here I am, still in my pajamas sitting next to the heater. Feeling nothing. I'm actually surprised I made it out of bed this morning at all.
I'm tired. I'm sluggish. I have no desire to leave this room, this messy little room. I want to crawl into a hole and just die there. Or at least hide out for a week or two.
Missed the first course of the day. I'm supposed to present a brief in the second. A brief which I haven't even written yet. That's right, I didn't do my homework. I'm not even a full-time student and I can't finish the work for my ten measley credits.
I can hear Bubbles now, lecturing me about how I always get this way in the springtime. How I should be prepared for the depths of nothingness every April and May. Yet I never am. I forget that I get this way until I'm here. Then I always feel worse (if that day is allowing feelings at all) because I know that I probably could have prevented it.
My responsibilities are numerous this week. I don't want to do any of them. I feel like hell and probably look worse. It's usually around this time I somehow become incredibly ill - I somehow convince myself that I need to be sick. So I get sick and lay in bed for a week. I don't feel sick now, but hey, if I happen to become deathly ill when I get back from the conference, don't be surprised.
I am hungry though. This is a good sign. Too bad I have no food in the house besides Wheat Thins and popsicles. Trust me, it's difficult to function eating just those.
I guess I should try to write this brief now. Sometimes domestic case law is just completely uninteresting.
currently reading: Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: -
