* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
Faithless
14 April 2003 @ 2:01 p.m.
Well kids, I have finally figured out the what/why/where of my feelings as of late. The overwhelming lonliness, the depression, the hatred, and inability to work all stem from one base feeling. One base thought.
I have lost faith in the world.
The world is a lazy, irresponsible, messy, unorganized place full of crabby, immature, cluttered people. People who you hope are your friends let you down. Those you trust break it. It is rare to see people pouring their heart and soul into their life and the lives of those around them. It is those rare folks who are underappreciated and often go unnoticed.
We live in a world where a young woman is sexually asaulted by someone close to her yet authorities do little to correct it. We live in a world where public property is "someone else's" responsibility. We live in a world where children are corraled and herded through schools without discovering themselves. We live in a world where laziness and irresponsibility is rewarded. We live in a world where volunteerism is seen as wonderful yet few actually do it.
This realization came to me last night in the depths of my disappointment. The world is nothing like what I dream it to be. I expect the minimum, hope for more and always receive less.
I reference mostly those in the early to mid-twenties, as they are the people I come in direct contact with on a regular basis. This is the future - a lazy, irresponsible, dirty future. A future I set out to change long ago, one child at a time, only to realize that few are out there helping out yet many are out there being counterproductive.
My faith is gone. I guess this is the nothingness I used to crave.
Here I am attempting to gear up to do something for myself for once, a simple concert, yet I know I have been let down so severely the concert won't help. My dreams are slowly being crushed, my vision clouded, my mission dissolved.
currently reading: Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: Folk Artists Mix (Joan Baez, James Taylor, John Denver, Carol King, etc)
