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Morning
16 April 2003 @ 8:41 a.m.
The sun has just set over the hill. There is a small beach here at the foot of the lush, dense hill. The water is gently kissing the dark sand almost rhythmicly. After a desperate afternoon nap, I awoke to find a strong arm around me. The world is quiet, save the light wind and the lapping water. A single white dock reaches into the calm water before it climbs toward the hill. I place my hand on the arm that surrounds me in acknowledgment. The world seems empty save myself, the water, and him though inside I know there is a picnic down the beach. Indistinguishable music lilts over the beach softly - slowly becoming recognizable as Dave Matthews' Crash. He tightens his hold around me and whispers, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." I repeat the words back to him, turning my gaze toward the everperfect water. Seconds, or maybe minutes, possibly hours pass before a second whisper comes, "I don't want to lose you, us. I want to give us another try." My only response is a squeeze to the arm and a single tear. We pull each other closer and just lay there watching the world together...
...and then I woke up.
I have no idea who the male was in that dream, though the location is the "park" I have created in my head and used many many times. I should name it "Camp Perfect Park". Part of me wants to know what was so bad that caused those events to unfold. Part of me wants to head back to sleep to see what happens next. And the rest of me wants to know who that man is.
It's interesting that I dream of sleeping, as that's all I did yesterday. Got up early to study, but as soon as I got home I fell asleep. Five hours later, awoke to a dark silent room. It was almost 9:00pm. But then I fell back asleep around 1:00am. Easily, I might add. The big nap left me with some interesting dreams too - even a lifeguarding dream. I haven't had those in years.
Still waiting for the sex dreams to start back up again. Waiting... not so patiently.
Speaking of all this, Mouse started giving me a lecture about how I need to cut all contact with J again. Until I told her that we're hardly speaking right now. She shut right up, though perked up when I said the last contact I had with him was an e-mail saying how guilty he feels for not calling recently or how it's his fault we haven't seen each other since February. Mouse is convinced that J and my friendship is one-sided. Or at least she was. . .
currently reading: Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind
currently listening: Dave Matthews Band - Crash
