* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
I Bailed
28 April 2003 @ 3:00 p.m.
I just got off the phone with camp. I officially quit, or as we campstaffers call it "Bailing Out". Only I did it before the season officially started.
What is left of my heart is in even smaller pieces now.
I am now homeless, broke, and jobless. I hate the fact that I have to move back in with my family. I hate the fact that I can't go to camp. I hate the fact that I fell so far. I hate the fact that I don't really know who I am anymore.
I have about ten weeks to superglue the heart back together, find my soul, and figure out who I am again.
Before I made the phone call this afternoon, I did my best to work myself into a good mood. I didn't want to burst out into tears while on the phone. So I decided to don the apron, take off the shoes, turn on the soaps, and cook up a storm. The sun was streaming into my little kitchen as I browned the hamburger for my casserole. Working in the clean kitchen honestly brings me to a peaceful place. It's a similar feeling to when I meditate as I swim lap after lap.
As much as I complain and whine about this house and its tenants - I truly do love it. I hope that my new apartment will have such a wonderful kitchen. It's just the lazy bitchass housemates who live here that ruin it for me.
The world as I know it has just complete fallen away. The two loves of my life will not be with me this summer - no camp, no J. Ten weeks to rebuild my world or create a new one. Ten weeks to figure out who I still am without that.
currently reading: -
currently listening: Entire MP3 List (1800+ songs)
