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Morning Thoughts
23 May 2003 @ 12:12 p.m.
The current mood of redness at www.imood.com

It�s noon and I�ve been up for over three hours. I�m tired and on the verge of being bored. This isn�t how I planned things to work out. Not at all.

I shaved my legs today. I never shave. Ever. But it seemed like such a good idea today. Maybe it�s time for me to get off my lazy duff and start taking care of my appearance. Might actually help me get a job. What a crazy thought.

Speaking of jobs, I have yet to hear back from any of the places I applied and/or interviewed. Nothing yet. I�m scared to death that I won�t find work at all now. I can�t afford to be jobless. Besides, if I don�t have a job then I will never leave this house and my social life will disappear completely and I will go insane with only a journal to talk to. Hrmm, maybe that would make a good book. Anyway, I am scared. I have never had trouble finding work before. In fact, I am a hot commodity in the residential camping world. It�s just that I need a break from that wonderful world, so I feel helpless and poor.

I had a great opportunity to talk with Wilbur last night. Haven't heard from her in ages. She was finally responding to an e-mail I sent out with the address change and all that jazz. . . apparently her job and boy keep her busier than my lack of both do. And rightfully so. Also talked to Blaze last night. She is another close camp friend who fell off the face of the earth for a year. But now she's climbed back up and went back to school. She was hoping I'd be out in her area for the summer so we could get into trouble again.

The best and craziest part about talking to the two of them was that they understood why I was doing what I am doing. NO ONE from home understands it yet everyone I talk to from camp is like "Take all the time you need, Red. We understand."

Once again reinforces my thoughts about how you meet your closest friends at camp, only to deal with the fact that come August you never see them again. Or only see them two or three times a year. Those girls really are my closest female friends. Period.

Besides being good Girl Scouts, we can all pound back a few and aren't afraid to dance on bars and such. You know, good well rounded Fabulous Girls.

Now I am missing them all terribly. I already miss camp. This weekend would have been the GI Jane Lifeguard Training that I run every year. I don't even know if there will be a Lifeguard Training now. My heart yearns to just jump in my car and drive the 17 hours or so out there and be like "Surprise! Red's home!" but I know that I can't.

I'm here. Trying to find my soul again. Well that and a job.

currently reading: Damia's Children - Anne McCaffrey
currently listening: Stone Temple Pilots - No. 4

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