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Haunting
14 June 2003 @ 3:56 p.m.
The situations my life has thrown at me has always made me stronger. I�ve been told numerous times that I have an incredible willpower that is unmatched.
Take a look at me today, at this very instant and you would never think of this little redheaded girl as strong. Never.
I finally slept last night. In fact, I would probably still be asleep right now if Sis hadn�t called around noon. It was good, peaceful, dreamless sleep that allowed me to finally have some rest. Amazing, considering I went to bed frustrated with an upset stomach.
I wish I was still asleep. I am becoming haunted by certain people and decisions from my past. I have always been one to say there are no mistakes, only experiences that you must grow from. Consequences may be worse for some choices than others, but they are still just experiences. Right now, I feel as though I have made a terrible mistake. I am unable to get the images and sounds of the events surrounding it from my mind. The tears falling are out of frustration and pain. I am no longer strong.
And to top it off, my stomach is still queasy.
I am supposed to go out tonight to a bar down near Detroit to see a friend play. As of right now I don�t think I will be attending. I cannot let people see what I�m turning into. Nothing that I do seems to help rid my head of the sights, sounds, voices, or pain. I am afraid that if they don�t stop I will become truly obsessed with this one instant of my life and never move on. That scares the shit out of me.
currently reading: Timeline - Michael Crichton
currently listening: -
