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The Art of House-Sitting
30 July 2003 @ 1:00 a.m.
The current mood of redness at www.imood.com

The first step to being the perfect House Sitter is, obviously, being asked. But it is more than being asked, more your response to it. You realize this is your opportunity to have free reign of others' belongings and toys, while they are looking for someone responsible to ensure their valuables aren't broken or stolen. Including pets. If the homeowner has a menagerie, the house-sitting gig may become profitable as well as fun.

Which leads me to step two, the animals. Most people will not hire a housesitter without a beloved pet or jungle of delicate plants. Step two is very simple - don't forget about the animals and plants. Be certain they are happy. Doesn't take long or even much effort. If your responsibilities are happy, the owners will be happy and possible compensate you handsomely.

Step Three is the fun one - utilize the toys. Other people always have cooler things than you. If they have a game console, rent games for it. Watch their cable! Use their internet! It will always seem better than your own. Or, at least, most of the time. Use the treadmill and stationary bike while blasting a stereo just for fun.

The next step is crucial, and the hardest to stick to - do your best not to snoop. Respect the privacy! Basically it comes down to this, you don't really want to find things like photos of the homeowner in compromising positions or remnants of trysts or even panties in Mr. Homeowner's sock drawer. Better to just stay out of it all - for everyone's sanity.

Last but not least, do something extra and unexpected to make their return home perfect. My personal favorite is cleaning their home from top to bottom. It's the least you can do after you spent over 50 hours on their PlayStation 2 racing cars. Again, it may lead to a wonderful monetary compensation. The longer you have their home, pets and plants the larger the "something extra" should be. If nothing else, leave the home the way you found it - no remnants of your own trysts laying in the den!



Needless to say, I am house-sitting this week for family. One large house, two dogs, two guinea pigs, one hamster, one rat, a very large vegetable garden, and a plethora of indoor and outdoor plants to be tended by me. The house is closer to work, so I gladly accepted. The Parentals are out of my hair (and vice versa) for the week and I have free reign of a cable modem and PlayStation 2.

If it weren't for the dog suffering from severe incontinence, lack of cable TV, and the large burn covering most of my left thumb, this gig would be perfect. Food has been provided for me for the entire week as well as clean towels and a bed. I'm set. No work tomorrow so I'll have even more time of sitting on my ass around this place. Good times, good times.

currently reading: Getting over Jack Wagner - Elise Juska
currently listening: Toad the Wet Sprocket - Home-made mix CD

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