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Money Betrayals
05 August 2003 @ 11:56 p.m.
My mind's on the money and the money's on my mind.
Sometime in June I started the heavy searching for finances for the final year of university. Scholarships, grants, federal loans, private loans, lotteries - everything was explored. Once I found out the bad news about qualification misses on scholarships and grants, I started heading to the private loan sector.
About this time I was informed by the Parentals to hold up so that they could look into their options. So I held back a bit, only doing minor searching for scholarships (waste of my time) and heading to my bank for information.
I was lucky and was awarded a small loan from the government as well as a small award from the university. Good times, good times. Though still short by thousands. Fine, so I go back to looking in my own time, still being told by the parentals to hold up - though it got to the point where we just didn't discuss it.
Until I discovered that my university DOES accept Sallie Mae. Right on, I think. So I tell the parentals last week about it. I'm pumped and ask them if they would be my co-signer to a loan with Sallie Mae.
So tonight I sat here with The Mother nearby filling out my pre-application for the loan online. Excellent, right? Until she says that before I accept anything or what not, we need to discuss it with The Father.
What? Made no sense. This was MY loan in my name that I would be responsible for. That is until she tells me that they had money on the way for my education and The Father was in the process of drawing up loan papers where I would pay them back.
They tell me this NOW. After I had spent over two months going at it, afer I was on the phone with Sallie Mae and went through a minor bug in the internet application.
The Mother says I procrastinated all summer about the money. That they were disappointed so went ahead and took care of it themselves.
These are the people who always say communication is key. Yet I had no idea about this. Last time loans were discussed, I was told to "hold up until we look into the credit union or look over our finances for family loans." Now, after I find the loan and have the application ready, she tells me not to send it.
Needless to say, I am livid. I feel betrayed. I feel as though they are treating me like a child after everything I have done. I've lived on my own for over four years and now this. After I asked to come back to live here to relax and get my mind and affairs in order, I get this. This is the climax of any thing and any feelings that have built over the summer.
It is worse than if I were back at camp going through the 7th week crankiness with 25 young women. At least then you know it is coming at you and know you won't be treated like a 10 year old.
I have been pressed day in and day out for details of my days from them, how much money I made that day, what did spend any on, who I met, if I had any friends (period - not just at work), if I was smart enough to handle a car, why it took me so long at the store, why I'm tired after certain things, etc. It isn't as though the details come up in casual conversation - the Mother will walk into a room and start in with her questions.
And now to top it all off, they don't disclose something as huge as a loan from them to me so that I may finish my education and get on with my life.
currently reading: Jemima J - Jane Green
currently listening: the TV (Letterman Show)
