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Off Kilter
06 September 2003 @ 1:00 a.m.
Biorhythms are whacked. Sleep comes randomly and too easily; food consumption is now officially erratic. The struggle to find the natural wave to the day is increasingly difficult.
I blame the goddamn jackhammers, dynamite blasts, and front end loader that is parked outside my bedroom window.
Last night I was finally able to fall asleep after a disappointing evening, only to be awakened by Chewba shortly thereafter. He came to apologize for not being there for time we�d planned out for the day. It�s fantastic that he did, but I had just started to fall asleep finally. Instead we were up for hours talking only to be awakened promptly at 7:00 a.m. by the lovely jackhammer.
They began blasting right around noon when I was going to settle in for a quick afternoon nap, so I ran to his place thinking it would be quiet and allow me to grab a cat nap with my self-heating pillow. Reruns of MacGuyver on the TV as we curled up together for a nap � the perfect nap. I don�t even remember falling asleep yet I woke up with my hair down, glasses carefully set aside, and shoes off. This is how fantastic Chewba is. I swear I sleep better with him than I ever did alone or even with J (a.k.a. Mr. Fidget).
This is just one period of erratic sleep � it�s been this way for days now. And when the sleeping gets whacked, eating follows. I am showing signs of the �depressed incredibly lonely red� eating habits even though I�m the opposite. Though I�m always hungry but nothing tastes right.
If they work on blasting out that parking lot tomorrow (Saturday), I honestly don�t know what I�ll do. Maybe I�ll sic T on them. He�s always great for fighting my fights for me.
With the biorhythms off kilter, my mind has begun to play tricks on me. I swear I�ve been more pessimistic than normal this week. Pessimistic about everything from what to wear to classes to my car to the budding relationship between Chewba and I. Even when T called the other day, I about bit his head off and then proceeded to shoot down all of his hopes about his ex-girl.
Maybe a bit of fiber will help bring back the regularity and schedule of my life. Or maybe start sleeping alone again. Though both ideas leave a bad taste in my mouth.
currently reading: -
currently listening: Best of Ani CD
