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Honor and Harmony
07 September 2003 @ 2:34 p.m.
Spent the weekend in the most magnificent and perfect place on earth with the kids. It was the annual Fall retreat for the Fraternity. Brothers only � playing, frolicking, bonding, and just being together.
The setting was fantastic � a cabin hidden away on a secluded beach, warm sun shining, light breeze off the calm lake. It started off with everyone splitting into work groups for the teamwork hard labor. As I scraped layers of paint from the back porch, I watched Chewba and CJ take down a large tree and split the wood for a later bonfire. The two of them wielding axes and joking around just made me smile.
The afternoon was spent swimming in the cold blue waters. I was able to float out away from shore and reacquaint myself with the water goddesses and their calming glory. Ari joined me for a while, the two of us just swimming and floating in the happy sun. It was shaping up to be one of the better days I have had in ages. Even the goals meeting of the Fraternity was productive and motivating.
Bonfire was lit, Brothers gathered around and began to sing. Chewba leaning against my knees, everyone else paired off sitting on the logs and rock just enjoying the fire, the Brotherhood, the music. That is until The Little and one of the other younger females began one of their tantrums and stormed away. The Little left, the other just stormed about for a bit, both ruining the seemingly perfect evening. Then another younger Brother (who has a weak heart, on donor lists and such) had a minor heart attack on the beach, near the bonfire, in my arms. She claimed chest pains, we were getting up to walk her into the cabin to lie down, and she fainted into my arms. Her defib had recently been removed, so I was left there sending people for a car and to grab her medications � shouting orders as I took her vitals. Luckily it was a very minor attack, she never stopped breathing.
Let�s just say it ruined the glee of the evening. We got her back inside the cabin and medicated, then Chewba took me for a walk down the beach to let me unwind afterwards. Another Brother came with us just privately discussing the roles we all play in the group or rather the roles people see us in. I�m the mom; Chewba�s the brute strength and the drunk. Neither of us approves the role we are given. The discussion turned to Fraternity issues where I just sat there as the two men discussed, then turned to relationships and definitions and roles there. Listening to him describe our relationship to the other Brother just made me smile. I just sat and listened as I couldn�t think of a better way to bring me back to the bliss of the earlier portion of the day. Shooting stars overhead, the water lapping against the rocks, the bonfire in the distance, though it was fairly cold.
This morning I awoke at dawn with Chewba holding me, keeping both of us warm. I walked alone out to one of the large rock formations near the lake and said good morning to the world, realizing this was the end for me. The collegiate portion of my life is coming to an end. My final Fall retreat, last Brother�s only bonfire and swim, last morning watching the sunrise from the cabin. As I walked in from the beach, Chewba met up with me with a handful of daisies and proceeded to place them in my hair, smile, then kiss me on the forehead before he walked away. It was as though he knew what I was thinking and what I needed at the exact moment.
For me, the weekend was perfect. Even the long drive back home, even though there was little conversation between the two of us, was comfortable and serene. We stopped at some friends� house on the way back and had an impromptu lunch. Two couples eating on a Sunday afternoon.
And now I�m home, tired, and desperately in need of a shower.
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