* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
Call Me Mom
13 September 2003 @ 11:52 a.m.
Due to less than perfect weather and other choice circumstances, Chewba and I were able to go out on our own for the first time in weeks. I picked him up and we ventured to the movie playing on the university campus � cheap entertainment for a movie we hadn�t seen.
Late shows of campus movies can be one of two things � dead or the place packed with a 30 proof alcohol content. Last night was the latter, though they were fairly quiet drunks so it wasn�t awful. Ran into a few kids we knew, but did our best to just be with each other.
Until about thirty minutes into the film when I hear �Pssst. Red. Red.� coming from the aisle. One of the kids needed me to come and get a half drunk girl from the women�s restroom down the hall. No big deal I think, so I excuse myself and walk down to the restroom only to discover she�s not half drunk � she�s on the verge of true alcohol poisoning.
This kid owes me bigtime. More than he possibly knows. Chewba and I had been trying to get away for a long time just the two of us and yet there I was in a women�s restroom detoxing a barefoot underage girl without the normal supplies needed.
Unfortunatly, this is becoming a regular occurance for me. Drunks? No problem. Heart attack? Here I come. Respiratory distress? Let me grab the mask. Slit the leg open with a chainsaw? Someone get me a towel.
I need a giant neon green sign to carry around that simply states, �NOT ON DUTY. I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN SHIT. LITERALLY.�
After purging the contents of this girl�s stomach, cleaning the bodily fluids as best as possible using only cold water and industrial brown paper towels, and pulling her hair back properly I was able to coordinate an effort to get her out of the restroom and on her way home. The other kids with her had never done a feat such as this before � learning how to carry a drunk down stairs is always an experience to remember.
Chewba came out just as we were getting her to the doors wondering where I ran off. He was a sweetheart and helped get her into the car and gather up her things she continued to drop. Once the kids drove off with her and instructions for the night, he gathered me up in his large arms, kissed my forehead, and whispered, �Not on duty tonight.� Then he forced me to go wash up as I smelled of violently expelled Baileys.
Here�s the fun part though � none of this caused my stomach to churn or my head to spin or anything. As soon as I saw her my head cleared and I was on a one track mission to get her back on her feet. A normal person gets a bit queasy when they have to clean up bodily fluids from someone. A normal person can�t pull people from a hallway and convince them they are strong enough to help me carry a twenty year old girl out of a stall so that I can clean her. A normal person wouldn�t have left their date during a movie they just paid for.
So just call me Mom and owe me big later. I�ll kiss your wounds better and clean you up when you piss yourself. I�ll remember to grab your shoes and purse when you stumble about and I�ll kick your ass if you do it to me twice.
currently reading: -
currently listening: the tv
