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Today
08 October 2003 @ 10:34 a.m.
Still sick. Still coughing up large balls of nastiness. But I slept beautifully last night propped up on three pillows clutching a half-empty box of kleenex while bundled under all my blankets. The dreams weren't awful last night though, something I am incredibly thankful for.
Yesterday was incredibly rough. I can't control when it happens anymore. Whenever I get the slightest feeling of becoming overwhelmed, everything falls apart. I find myself worrying about everything this morning. I worry that today will be like yesterday, I worry that I said something to Chewba that I didn't mean (as I don't remember many details of the day), I worry that the wasted day will push me so far behind I won't catch up. Ever.
There are two papers to finish by Friday. An exam tomorrow morning. Laundry to wash, kitchen to clean, bills to organize. Losing a day when you are a student is rough. Incredibly rough. And it just adds to the anxiety I deal with on a daily basis.
Two days ago, Chewba and I were sitting close to each other by a small set of waterfalls in the middle of nowhere. The fall colors shrouded us in peace and quiet. Now I sit here in my robe, attempting to pull together enough willpower to leave my apartment to be the student.
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