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Dream Alone
29 October 2003 @ 10:23 a.m.
Waking on your own from a pleasant dream is the only way to start the day. Or at least start the day when you sleep alone.
It was the perfect dream - I was at the resort I tried to work for this summer with Chewba, the Little, Ari, and a few other close (and not so close) friends. It was a celebration of sorts beginning with everyone partying in a very large indoor pool. Splashing, giggling, swimming - everyone just having a fantastic time. The party moved from the pool to a river boat where the only thing I could make out was standing on the deck, Chewba's arms around me, watching the scenery of the town and river. All I could feel of the boat ride was how much love there was around and between us. The party then left the boat and headed into a bar of the resort. Two high round tables of friends being served drinks. Several were underage and attempted to pass as over, the Little started in on me about sexual relations with Chewba - how it was inappropriate and wrong. (this seems NOTHING like the Little, by the way though she and I have been on the outs for a while) I let her know my feelings in stern, yet quiet words and she seemed to disappear from the dream. The last thing I remember is Chewba announcing to everyone how he didn't know how he handled life before me, he leaned over to kiss me.
Then I woke up. I woke up all snuggled under my covers in my big bed alone. Alone, but with a smile on my face.
Now I sit here eating my ambrosia preparing myself for the day. Coursework and laundry loom over me. The list I prepared letting me know everything that must be done before we leave on Friday seems longer than life. That's after I made a significant dent in it yesterday.
This list is my way to ensure I won't have anything on my mind to worry me while we are gone. I don't need anything to distract as I present myself to those he's closest to. I'm still nervous beyond belief, but know that I can do this.
currently reading: Taking the Red Pill: The Science, Philosophy and Religion in the Matrix
currently listening: Liz Phair - Exile in Guyville
