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Hallween Hope
31 October 2003 @ 10:02 a.m.
Happy Halloween Everyone!
As I rolled over to turn the alarm clock off, a pair of large arms encircled me, a kiss on the cheek accompanied by "Happy Halloween, Red" became my true wake-up call.
He's still half asleep in the other room waiting for me to prepare myself for class. Today is it - we leave in a few hours. My nerves are calmed a bit thanks to some major help from M&M (the newest little brother). She came over and helped tear apart my closet some more.
My costume is just a little punker kid I guess. Still need the myriad of jelly bracelets and leather cuffs, but it will do. I'll just have to pick those up when Chewba and I get down into civilization again. I think I can handle not totally fitting in - costume-wise. I hope I do anyway, my confidence is still very low.
It took all my willpower not to binge on everything in the apartment last night. I was able to refrain from eating more than two meals, though one meal did consist of three grilled cheese sandwiches. I will not binge today. The inner pain will not go away through food. It will either be healed somehow or shoved back down inside me so that I may survive this weekend.
I'll be back Sunday evening. Hopefully between now and then I will have made the parents and friends fall in love with me as much as Chewba. Hopefully I will not break down into a nervous wreck. Hopefully I will relax a bit.
currently reading: Taking the Red Pill: Science, Philosophy, and Religion in The Matrix
currently listening: Bif Naked - I Love Myself Today
