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Acceptance
02 November 2003 @ 9:58 p.m.
Rain. Driving. Nerves. Introductions. Pizza. Driving. Nerves. Introductions. Liquor. Laughter. Connection. Costumes. Driving. Conversation. Shopping. Driving. Nerves. Introductions. The Look. Decorations. Jimmy Johns. Costumes. Awkwardness. Liquor. Dancing. Music. Acceptance. Drunkenness. Loneliness. Frustration. Rain. Liquor. Cold. Conversation. Fear. Sleep. Conversation. Driving. Island. Log Cabin. Realization. Rain.
I survived. I did more than survive, I conquered.
Rain fell most of the weekend. Cold, dark rain couldn�t dampen the high spirits Chewba was in as we drove south to his home. My nerves were on high � constantly thinking about the �meet the parents� thing. He pulls the car into a neighborhood lined with large trees and homes to match. Children Trick-or-Treating through the thick leaves and dusky street, we pull up to the house, his father at the door with a bowl of candy. Inside, I freaked. Outside I ran my fingers through the copper mess and smiled as I was introduced to those who raised the man I love. Kitchen table set with white linens and two forks.
But they liked me.
Drove to the next town over to meet up with one of Chewba�s best friends and girlfriend. Bar hopping ensued as the girlfriend was happy that there was another female around. Music discussed, drinks drank, relationships fostered.
They liked me too.
Saturday the nerves kicked back in as we continued the drive to the party location. The party. The costume party. The third and final leg of the journey to introduce me to those he loves most. We arrived at the house mid-afternoon, door opened by one of Chewba�s most cherished friends. The look on his face was, well, incredible. I have a feeling I wasn�t what he expected to see or I was exactly what he was expecting. Within an hour I was introduced to people I�d been hearing about for the past few years. Decorations were completed, costumes changed into, house filled with people I did not know. Introductions continued, beer flowed, rain fell. I was uncomfortable and unhappy as I walked through the house.
But the close circle accepted me. They liked me too.
Chewba missed a good portion of the party due to drunken sleepiness, but I was able to tell him all about it on the drive back. Six hours in the car back I discovered things about our relationship; things I didn�t think were there. And now I fear I am reading too much into things.
The other day I mentioned to him that I was getting information from camps around the nation for possible fulltime work. One is in the Florida Keys and sounded fairly interesting. His friend we met with Friday night has been given the opportunity of a lifetime to start up a branch of a firm in Florida next spring and asked Chewba to come work with him. This is a huge deal for him, and I�m happy about it. But we were joking around about building a house on an island with all these crazy features and hovercrafts and everything on the drive back, and he pipes up about how we�d have to do it in the Florida Keys so he could work and then he�d help me get a job with the camp that is there. The first mention of a �we� future, and it includes a house and work and everything. He didn�t say anything after that for a long time, just grabbed my hand and drove in silence.
Am I reading too much into all this?
currently reading: Taking the Red Pill: Science, Philosophy and Religion in The Matrix
currently listening: Outkast � Hey Ya
