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29 November 2003 @ 3:55 p.m.
4 days apart + long drives + Portishead = ridiculous amounts of �I missed you sex�
I am making a mental note now that from now until forever, the band Portishead will be associated with getting randy with Chewba. This hasn�t been the first time I notice the music in the background of carnal activities, just the most apparent and suiting. The music may be haunting at times, but it is a sensual haunting leaving you just craving the other person. Or at least after last night/this morning.
Sure I admit that I rushed home to be with him. Thanksgiving with the Parentals and Sis was odd, to say the least. Nothing about the stay down there felt right. Dinner was just the four of us, whereas in the past there have never been less than seven or eight around the table. The house was quiet and left me unsettled. So yes, I left a day early to come back to my comforts and the man that protects me from the world.
We are able to handle being apart, something that signifies a strong relationship, but I missed him more than I care to admit.
In other news, my back has decided to go on strike. The muscles of the lumbar portion are all tight and refuse to allow me to stand erect. The Valium has begun to kick in, so hopefully combined with a hot shower and a long walk we can negotiate new terms of employment. Basically, I am fucking sick and tired of being a slave to my retarded spine. No matter what sort of exercises I attempt, it doesn�t help. I�ve tried wishy-washy ways to lose weight with no avail. So it�s time to bring in the big guns and begin to do what I loathe � count calories and carbohydrates. Imp and I are signing up for another round of aerobics classes as well. Swimming isn�t helping. Walking more isn�t helping. I refuse to go back to physical therapy and while the drugs are fun, they are not a permanent solution.
It�s been four years now and I still have troubles. It�s absurd. The doctors tell me jack shit. The Father insists that if I lose forty pounds I will feel better overall. The Mother worries that my back is going out again. Chewba continues to support me as I attempt to walk. So I am going to attempt to lose the weight and move my legs EVEN MORE. I need a bigger support system though to keep me going and motivated. Any volunteers out there? Let me know, eh?
currently reading: Wish you Well � David Baldacci
currently listening: Star Wars on tv
