* Now
* Archives
* Disclaimer
* Bio
* Cast
* AIM
*
Guestbook
* E-mail
* Notes
* Survey
* Profile
* Reviews
* Quizzes
* Rings
* Reads
* Fanclub
* Clix Me!
All Content and Code �2000-2006 by Red
Hosted by DiaryLand.
Recovery in Braids
10 December 2003 @ 1:06 a.m.
I�m dressed and I�ve had a semi-productive day sans sleep. I even took the time to braid my hair. All good signs that I�m pulling myself out of the deep funk. That and it�s snowing beautifully right now.
I realize that I cycle like this often. While the thoughts of loneliness and emptiness are ever-present, they surface most often when I�m extremely down. The tears flow faster and harder during what is normally a 4-5 day cycle every few weeks. I wish that it corresponded better to my �moon cycle� so I could prepare for it all.
Instead I fight the insomnia and tears with a permasmile as I venture out into public.
* * *
Another hockey game tonight, which I actually attended. That�s right, I was out in public with the people I didn�t want to be near, cheering the guys on to yet another victory. Chewba was hit hard right above his belt line, but he�ll survive. Good game � very quick too with so few calls and penalties. It gave me a chance to talk to The Little and M&M about some recent goings on with our dear suicidal/psycho/cardiac patient friend who is now institutionalized as a psychiatric criminal. Or something. It�s no wonder the stress has been building up around me with everything going on with her. I do not regret saving her life those few times nor do I regret spending hours upon hours with her. It�s just tiring being around people who see attention-grabbing suicidal threats as fashionable. But it�s over now, and the three of us made it through.
* * *
Everyone should head over to maeve�s place and check out the present I gave her. Hopefully she likes the new layout as much as I do. But now I am able to claim artist rights to three diaryland sites. Crazy, eh? There�s one other that I wish I was able to reopen and take over, the review site I once worked for. I have little to no hope there, unfortunately.
And now I shall sit here, braids and all, and attempt to work on an essay while I wait for Chewba to join me for the night. He made it snow for me this evening. Now I hope he can keep me asleep in peace so that I may continue to pull myself out of this. You can help to by sending me Clix Love. Just click on the link below!
currently reading: Wish You Well � David Baldacci
currently listening: Hip-hop mix list (Nas � I Can)
