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On My Own
08 February 2004 @ 3:12 p.m.
Internet is back on! Chewba came over and determined that the Ethernet card jiggled loose out of its slot during the moving back and forth between parties I was DJing. Threw the card into another slot and voila! It works.
I wrote two entries over the past few days � notice that they are now posted just prior to this one. My final Carnival was not what I had expected nor wanted. The breakdowns are coming just as frequently, though I find myself retreating farther into my hovel with each one.
Today the weather is sunny and significantly warmer than it has been in months. I have the windows open airing out the apartment. Now, by �significantly warmer� I mean it�s about 25 degrees Fahrenheit today. I only need my spring shell and no mittens to go out, which is just nice. Also saw the asphalt/concrete on the roads today for the first time in months. It�s crazy since you usually don�t see temps this high until March.
Anyway�
I�m trying my hardest to crawl out of this bout of anxiety. Chewba took me out to lunch thus forcing me to be in public. It was hard, but good company and seafood is hard to turn down, no matter how phobic I�ve become of public places. Now I�m working on cleaning up the interior of my home. Dusting is complete, dishes are done, laundry is started. This is how I pull myself up. This is how I remember who I am or at least who I think I want to be. This is how I am able to survive on my own.
currently reading: -
currently listening: Usual Suspects on tv
