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Dreams and Fears
07 March 2004 @ 12:26 p.m.
Woke suddenly this morning from yet another crazy dream. Thankfully, Chewba didn�t stir as I sat there trying to gather my thoughts on the situation.
Started out as myself in a university campus (totally generic large university) with numnum coming to visit me. But then something crazy began to happen � the environment turned into more of a video game. (I swear that I need to stop watching Chewba play his games right before bedtime) Movements of people were similar to the Grand Theft Auto series, but boundaries were set within places like Final Fantasy. A mission began to emerge that included running around town and solving puzzles. Food was an intrigal part of everything as well. Sis was called in to help. We met up with J and the ex-bitch-friend. All working towards this common goal � though I have no idea what it was. The final person to join the group was this guy who I don�t really know � he�s a sports photographer for the local paper I always see around � but he was like the �runner� for us. The adventure led us into this old hotel where we were searching for something or someone. There was a lot of running around, but the dream ended on a terrace with a puzzle. I was desperately trying to solve it while pizzas were arriving in the hands of the ex-bitch. Pizza everywhere.
But then I woke up. Woke up being puzzled myself at the oddity of the dream. This was the first one to include that crowd in a very long time. Though I know why � my fears are coming back again. My fears that this relationship will become what mine with J was. When things become perfect or according to plan, I always fear the worst. Today is no different. I voiced the fear to Chewba last night � something I have never done before. He hugged me as he said that I have nothing to worry about, that he has no plan to leave me anytime soon. But the fears are not quelled. I wish I knew why.
currently reading: Straight Talking by Jane Green
currently listening: Incubus � Summer Romance
