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Lack of Sleep
05 April 2004 @ 1:11 a.m.
I hate it when I am unable to sleep.
We went to bed over an hour ago, chatted for a while, then each drifted off into our own land of dreams. At least that was how it started. I woke up shortly after falling asleep and am now wide awake with my mind racing.
I was looking forward to sleep tonight too.
So here I sit, in complete darkness and silence save the glow of the computer monitor and the soft clicking of the keys, doing my best to unload my mind without waking him in the other room.
My mind has been drifting far too much over the past three hours. So in an attempt to slow it down, I shall write a list of sorts below of what has been passing through.
1) Pronunciation of names learned when I pledged. I�ve been trying for the life of me to remember certain names and how they were pronounced to see if they were correct.
2) How I will actually succeed at moving twice this summer with little to no help. Will I need to hire movers? Can I count on family, friends, and Brothers to help me? What if the move is farther than just the Great Lakes area? How will my beautiful bed travel with me?
3) The laundry situation sucks major monkey butt. I must remember to call the landlord in the morning to see what will happen, if anything. Must remember to play the handicapped card.
4) My birthday is Friday and I have no plans. I really want to do something, but nothing sounds appeasing. Chewba is no help either since he just wants me to have a good time. Other friends from far away tell me that I should �force� people to buy me things and binge on fine liquors and food. I just want to feel like it�s truly my day for once.
5) Exam in the morning for the class I despise. Must get a B or better on it to prevent poor grade. Should have attended more meetings of it. I�ll go to it every day for the rest of the term. I swear. Yeah.
6) I�m glad that I made the �To Do� list for this week and posted it on the wall. I�m certain that it will all get done. Feelin� pretty positive about this week. Hell, it has to be positive since it�s my birthday week, right?
7) I spent a good portion of today in tears over random things. So much so that I honestly felt dehydrated with a sticky face. There are certain dreams that whenever I�m reminded of them (and I know they may never come true) I just tear up for hours on end. That on top of stupid disappointments like not being able to do laundry today just left me in shambles. I blame the movies I was watching. In fact, I should never watch movies again.
8) I forgot to watch my soap this week. And it�s getting good too with the baby switching and whatnot. Crap.
9) I hope that I don�t wake Chewba by not being there or by the sound of the tapping keys. He�s been working so hard lately and always looks exhausted. Who knew that coding brand new software could wear a man out so much? Even hockey left him with some energy. Now he�s just drained all the time unless he�s sitting there debugging his code in his head � either way he�s silent.
10) Saw some pictures today that were taken earlier this week of myself. I can�t believe that I have a double chin. But I won�t get into that now.
Enough � I�m going to try to sleep again. Sweet dreams world.
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