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Overwhelmed
08 April 2004 @ 5:03 p.m.
I almost cried in class today.
So stressed out, so overwhelmed, so tired, so utterly embarrassed by where I am in my research paper � but I held the tears back. I sat there with a straight face, though pained, listening to suggestions and possible reasons why I feel the way I do. Other students feel similarly, but I still feel behind everyone.
Am I truly less prepared or is this just me being overly critical of myself yet again?
Chewba and I are both at our wits ends. He called me this afternoon looking for ways to find a quiet place to vent stress and anxiety. Another letter from another corporation came today saying that they didn�t need his services. While he still has so many out, he gets so discouraged with each letter that arrives. They say the economy is looking up � especially in computer related fields. I certainly hope so for his sake.
But it just wears on me. Everything seems to wear on me anymore. From stupid laundry issues to computer issues to papers to research to stupid people to watching my love become discouraged to money troubles.
Tomorrow is my birthday and all I can think about is my worries and how much I just want to curl up and sleep until it�s all over.
I am through being a student. I was through being a student a year ago yet here I am, 29 days from my graduation, ready to give up. If only I could pass all my courses without any more work.
currently reading: (taking a break from the research)
currently listening: the hum of a fan
