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Successful Days
14 April 2004 @ 10:51 a.m.
Hit me today that I am in the Top 20 at Clix for the second week in a row. This is absolutely amazing considering my attitude and performance in other areas of life as of late. It is also awesome and the boost of whatever confidence necessary to put me in a decent mood for the morning.
Once again, I sit here during my scheduled journal time. That plan worked so incredibly well yesterday, I�m doing it again. One snag in today resulting from waking up a bit late and then getting a bit ill caused me to have to run home to eat after class (I don�t need to starve myself � three meals a day this week! No matter what! Even if I think that�s what is making me sick), but other than that everything is on track. Its amazing to have this sheet of paper with a schedule on it for nothing but that day folded in your back pocket and how it calms my worry. How can I worry about tomorrow when I am forced to focus on only the next twelve hours?
I�m listening to Radio VH1 again as I sit here in the lab. The station �Jet Set� is absolutely amazing for working � but I came to the realization that I already own 90% of the music played on it. Normally when I listen to the radio (whether normal or internet) I focus on new music to open my ears and heart to. But this, this is like playing the best chill music that I already own as Portishead, Massive Attack, and Thievery Corporation soothe my mind. It�s reassuring and comforting to say the least.
Chatted with Bubbles a bit yesterday via e-mail. She started things off wondering if I fell off the face of the earth since I hadn�t been returning her e-mails or calls. All I had to tell her was that the Spring Slump was back and she came back with this long dissertation on why intelligent women fall into this. Her newest theory cracks me up and its so obscure it might be true. Here�s the direct quote:
�You know what I think about this (and I know this is one of the most crackpot ideas that I have spouted yet) is that it has something to so with maternity. Since spring is a time for babies, perhaps we are depressed subconciously because we don't have any. You can beat me for that comment when you see me, in fact I encourage you to beat me. In anycase, you will have to let me know how my theory works out after we have 20 billion kids.�
This is why this woman is my closest friend.
I did something last night that was crazy, stupid, and stress-relieving all at once � I ripped apart the current knitting project that I was almost done with. Or should have been done with had I honestly followed the proper directions but since I�ve been so fucking stressed and crazy lately I combined three different patterns from the same book for similar bags and thus what I made would never look like what I wanted, let alone sew together properly. So I ripped. I ripped out months of work and stress. I ripped out three skeins of 100% wool yarn that cost more than any other bag I�ve owned. I then sat there balling up the yarn into this massive burgundy ball, took the end, and started over again. One of the Girls (same that came out for the birthday � should probably choose an individual name for her since we�ve been hanging out more) came over and we sat watching John Cusack movies and knitting to relieve pre-graduation stress. It was perfect, actually. Two young women curled up in easy chairs with their knitting wearing oversized sweatshirts and comfy drawstring pants watching tv gossiping about their beaus and politics drinking ice water and munching on grapes. It was exactly what I needed to just fall asleep peacefully.
We have plans to do it again when I return from Chicago early next week. I�m already looking forward to it.
But its time for this random entry to come to an end. My journaling time is about over so now its time to begin to honestly write for coursework. Here�s to another successful day.
currently reading: -
currently listening: Radio VH1 �Jet Set�
