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Contentment
20 May 2004 @ 11:50 p.m.
I think it�s about time for a reminder about the disclaimer. Please read it if you haven�t done so already. I�ve been noticing a surge of new readers � just want to communicate a bit with you. Thanks.
* * *
It was another beautiful day here in my world. The sun was out, warm, light breeze, neighbors mowing lawns, children biking up and down the streets � peaceful. Being alone in the quiet sun allows me to get back to that introspectiveness I haven�t seen or felt in ages. Except it isn�t quite the same as I remember. I am not focusing on the negative or mundane things in my life. I am not focusing on things to improve, change, run away from. Instead I see the future and where I am headed, though not with my head in the clouds daydreaming. I am planning, feet planted firm on the soil.
I find it amazing where I am in my life. One of the girlfriends and I were discussing this over beer the other night � here we are recent graduates and not even close to where we thought we�d be 4-6 years ago. She just bought a home with her fianc�. I am about to start a job that is nowhere near what I entered university to do. We are happy. Happy. Me. The person one year ago that was completely in shambles running away from life is now honestly content in life.
While I do still suffer from the occasional anxiety/depressive episode, the overall picture is much sunnier than ever before. I have a future now. A future that has potential. I am in awe of it all. I assume this is what happens when you truly fall in love with both yourself and another person. I�m here. I�m content on the inside. Now all I have left is to keep doing what I am doing to find a true home of my own where I can stay for more than a year. Well that and discover a way to avoid the increasing gasoline prices.
currently reading: Girls� Poker Night by Jill Davis
currently listening: Chemical Brothers ft. Flaming Lips � Golden Path
