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16 December 2004 @ 7:43 a.m.
These past five days have been trying to put it simply. As of this moment, we still have no vehicle, I have poured over finances incessantly, he is exhausted, and I haven�t quite gotten over the sick feeling in my stomach from guilt.
Why guilt, you ask? Guilt from stepping in and taking control of the situation. Guilt from taking over his finances. Guilt from feeling as though I am taking away his ability to choose.
I have stepped in with a plan to still get the exact same vehicle as we had originally planned. Only it won�t be a lease and it won�t be in his name. It would be our car from now until we sell it.
This morning I am determined. I will not leave that dealership again without the car. The ball is in motion, all I need is to finagle the last few details and sign the paperwork. I just feel as though he doesn�t have the option to stop me now� even though it�s partially his money too. It�s our money�
Is joint checking far off? An apartment together? Marriage? All things that have been discussed over the past five days. Last night as I said goodnight over the phone I mentioned how I want to be �us� for quite a while down the road. He said he did too.
Love, money and cars. What a week.
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