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Getting Married
14 March 2006 @ 9:16 p.m.
Someone purchased my placemats. It�s official now. This is really happening. It isn�t just me picking out flowers or dress shopping. It isn�t walking around a park wishing. It isn�t having a long conversation that ends in an engagement.
I am getting married.
People have purchased things on my registry. People are happy for us to be making such a commitment to each other. It just didn�t feel real until just now.
I am getting married.
I�ve agreed to change my name. I�ve agreed to live with him.
This scares the shit out of me. I was all nerves when we started talking about moving in together. It meant that I would lose my free space. I would lose my independence. I would lose the ability to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out at 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday for no other reason than I�m out of oatmeal. Now that we live together and I flip out regularly. Whenever home alone, which isn�t often, I find myself in the midst of mild anxiety attacks.
I am getting married. There is no place for anxiety attacks when it comes to sharing your life with the person of your choice. It�s real. I have reservations made, invitations sent, people buying me placemats.
